THE FUNGUS AMONG US
Fungus is the name given to any multicellular organism that has a nucleus and a cell wall of chitin. These organisms do not photosynthesize, but instead release chemicals to digest their foods and slurp them up across their cell walls. They are a type of heterotroph. This is such a basic group of characteristics that we call them a Kingdom.
Alright, there were a bunch of scientific terms in there that you may have forgotten because you don’t use them all the time. A multicellular organism is critter than has more than one cell. The nucleus is a part of the cell that contains the instructions for life (deoxyribonucleic acid = DNA) in a nice little packet. A cell wall is a “thick” outer covering of the cell. Plants have cell walls and so do fungi. Cell walls provide support, maintain shape, and provide protection to the cell. The cell walls of plants are made of a material called cellulose. Fungi cell walls are made of chitin. You can also find chitin in the “shells” of insects. Crazy! FYI, you don’t have a cell wall. Photosynthesis refers to the ability to take sunlight and oxygen and make sugars and carbon dioxide. It is the special gift that plants and algae give to those of us who suck air. Lastly, a heterotroph is a critter that doesn’t have the power of photosynthesis, but instead has to eat something else to get energy. I’m a heterotroph. So are you. In fact, the main difference between me (and therefor you too) and a fungus is the fact the fungi has a cell wall and we don’t. We get placed into the Kingdom Animalia because of this.
So now that you know the characteristics of a fungus, let us talk about their awesomeness in our lives. Fungi include mushrooms, molds, and yeast (there are more, but these are the ones we are working with). I like to think that no college party would be complete without the fugus among us. Yeast is used to make pizza crust rise. Yeast is used to make the beer alcoholic. If you like mushrooms on your pizza, then you like fungi. Many of our tasty cheeses get their flavor profile from fungi. So, you see they are FUN GUYS! Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
What if you take your pizza party outside? You will get to see more fungi! After a rain, you’ll be able to spot “toadstools” that magically grew in your yard. Sometimes these form a fairy ring. I personally like to kick the toadstools. This is particularly gruesome of me. You see, the structures we call “toadstools” or mushrooms are the reproductive structures of the fungi. Most the fungi is below ground as finger-like projections called “hyphe”. When conditions are ripe, they fungi forms new cells that form the “toadstool” and these contain their reproductive structures that make spores. A generic term for reproductive structures is “gonads”. If you spent time in the 80’s you might be familiar with the term “nads”. When you kick toadstools, you are kicking them in the nads. For real. Back to those fairy rings. Those are reproductive structures that have grown up from the edges of the massive, underground network of hyphe. There is probably a potential horror flick in there somewhere.
You might also notice some shelf fungi. These are those things that look like shelves growing out of the sides of trees. Fairies use them to climb up trees when their wings are to wet to fly. Just joking.
If you are superbly fortunate you might come across a large, ball-shaped growth on the ground. This just might be a puff ball. If it is “ripe”, you can push on it (or kick it if you are into that kind of thing) and it will puff out spores. Hence the name – puff ball.
Now a bit of warning. Some mushrooms are edible. Duh, you can buy them at grocery stores. Some will cause hallucinations. Others will kill you! Yes, KILL YOU!!! They have attractive names like “Death Cap” and “Death Angel” A general rule is to go mushroom hunting with an expert. Perhaps have them eat the mushrooms first, observe them for two days to see if they die, and then proceed eating them yourself. When going mushroom hunting you should wear orange. Mushrooms can’t detect that color, allowing you to sneak up on the mushroom. Ok, that is crap. Mushrooms can’t see. They can’t run away (they have hyphe, not legs!). The orange is to make you visible to any hunters (with guns or bows and arrows) in the fall or spring when the mushrooms are most abundant.
